How to find ‘me time’ as a busy parent
When was the last time you really spent time on yourself? A pamper session, or time on your personal passions and hobbies (remember those?). Self-care often gets missed from the priority list when you have young children. It’s easy to forget what it’s like to have even 10-minutes to just be you. You may be wondering how you can make ‘Me Time’, without feeling like you’re neglecting something else on your long list of responsibilities.
Remember, it’s not OK to neglect yourself, either.
Don’t Feel Guilty for Needing Headspace
As parents, our nurturing instinct almost always means putting others before ourselves. But as co-author of Minimalist Parenting, Christine Koh, writes in the Huffington Post; self-care is not selfish. And the problem is, being on the go all the time without any respite can backfire and could lead to burnout.
To take care of your family, you need to take care of yourself first. That doesn’t just mean a healthy sleep routine and careful nutrition, but time and space for your mental health, too. Making time just for you is also essential for retaining your own sense of identity.
How to Make ‘Me Time’
Book it
Finding time for anything that isn’t part of your day-to-day is more likely to happen if it’s in your diary. When you write something down, you’re making a commitment and are much more likely to see it through. Even a trip to the hairdressers can feel like a luxury when you’re a frazzled mum or dad, so make a point of booking at least one self-care activity for yourself either weekly or monthly.
Digital Detox
Social media can steal time without you realising, so make a conscious effort to leave your phone untouched for a while – even just half an hour. Instead of falling down the Instagram rabbit hole or getting lost in the Twitterverse, grab a book or magazine and lose yourself in a story. Just taking time away from devices can make the world of difference to your mental wellbeing.
Save Wasted Time
Consider whether you have any ‘dead time’ in your day, such as a train journey to work. You could listen to your favourite podcast or indulge in reading a glossy magazine, instead of catching up on work or scrolling endlessly through Facebook. Perhaps keep a journal and commit to writing daily for some much-needed headspace.
If you work from home (and live within a reasonably safe distance), try a walk/jog back from nursery or school after drop-off for a regular dose of health-boosting, mood-enhancing exercise. Not up for anything too strenuous? Treat yourself to a solo coffee on the way home instead.
Get Support
It’s all-too easy to try and do everything on your own. You might have even convinced yourself that's the only way to get things done nowadays, too. Make a habit of reaching out and creating a support network with friends or family, where you can help each other.
Having people to rely on when you want to focus on yourself is invaluable. Whether that be simply to catch up on some much-needed sleep, binge-watch a series, or book a full-on spa day, it’s easier to do it with help from others. Giving back kindness in return to those that help you can actually help decrease stress symptoms too.
If your support network is small, consider using a vetted baby-sitting service such as Bubble, who can provide sitters for work, rest, and play, so you can take the time you need.
Parent List
At Parent List, we’re busy parents too, and we understand the frustrations of having no time to yourself. We know the struggle, the overwhelm of the mental load, and the guilt that comes with parenting. Being advocates of positive mental wellbeing, it’s why we created the Parent List app.
Our free app will have lots of features to help you get organised, and you can share lists, too. Plus, premium subscribers get access to a range of short breath and movement sequences and 5-, 10, and 15-minute guided meditations.
They’re especially designed for when you need to grab a few precious moments from the chaos, to find calm and recentre yourself. You can find out more about the Parent List app and its features.
What to Do During Your ‘Me Time’ – Ideas for Mums and Dads
Taking some ‘me time’ in your day is a wonderful way to replenish your mind and soul, and spending time with yourself is really beneficial for your positive mental health and wellbeing. However, busy mums and dads may end up filling any sudden free-time opportunities with chores, to make the most of those spare moments.
To help you make a point of finding some time that’s just for you, here are 20 ‘me time’ ideas to schedule into your diary, or fit into your day-to-day, to ensure you get the downtime and headspace you need.
Me Time Ideas
Revisit past hobbies
Play your favourite sport (tennis/golf/netball)
Meet up with an old friend
Watch a classic movie
Play your favourite video games
Book a spa day or massage
Get a manicure or pedicure
Go to the gym or try a new class
Be pampered at the hair salon or barber
Take yourself out to lunch or meet a friend for breakfast
Go shopping on your own
Visit a museum solo and soak up some culture
Binge on a new series
Get lost in a really good book
Pop on a face mask and pour a bubble bath with a glass of fizz
Combine daily exercise with childcare drop-off
Try some yoga or stretching
Go for a swim
Try journaling first thing in the morning or just before bed
Write affirmations for things you are grateful for
Those are just a few ideas of some things you might like to do during your downtime, and there will be plenty more. You can also try some of these tips to unwind together with your child if finding time alone is a struggle. Don’t forget – you can also sign up to find out more about the Parent List app, to help you manage the mental load and make time for yourself.
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