What do mums really want for Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and this emotionally charged day can come with some lofty expectations reinforced by social media. But what do mums want for Mother’s Day? Moonpig and LEGO group recently polled 2,000 mums and found that 58% of mums would love more free time for themselves.

The responses included time off from chores, work and using the bathroom alone. All things that most mothers can relate to.

Here at ParentList we asked our followers “what do mums really want for Mother’s Day?” and two answers came out top: Sleep and time alone.

Our founder Chloe Lowe believes that the age of your children can have a real impact on how you are feeling about Mother’s Day: “If you’re a new mum experiencing your first Mother’s Day it’s such an exciting time. It’s so lovely to have things with ‘mum’ on them and a scary-looking homemade card.

“With older children, many mums find the mental load has got a bit heavier with school and extra-curricular activities, so it’s understandable that you might want to use this day to spend some quality time together. However, with our constant to-do lists, it’s no wonder everyone is craving a bit of alone time and sleep”.

The past two years have been hard on parents. Lockdown, the rising cost of childcare and the general rise in the cost of living has led to many parents feeling burnt out and underappreciated. There’s no wonder that most people want a break.

So how can we achieve a Mother’s Day that fills us with joy (and homemade cards)?

We spoke to Conscious Living Coach Carol-Anne Ward about how to communicate our needs without feeling guilty or selfish:

“With the speed and demands of life, it’s easy to forget that the first and most important relationship in your life is with yourself. Many of us have forgotten (or were never told) that the key to fully giving to others is by giving to ourselves first.

“The best metaphor for this is the battery. If the battery is full, it can give out its energy to other things to help them work. If the battery is low or even empty, it’s impossible for it to give out to anything else. If we have nothing left in the tank it leads to feelings of stress, resentment and burnout, and our relationship with ourselves and others suffer.

The most important part is to really work out what it is you need. Take five minutes in your day to write down all the things that you need and want. Look at them all and pick one that would have the biggest impact on your life right now. Then sit down with your partner and problem solve the issue together to show you trust them to support you with your needs.”

If you want to know more about communicating your needs, you can read more from Carol-Anne in our article: How to avoid the mum guilt when you need self-care or check out our checklist on how to connect with yourself when you are short of time.

Whilst having time alone is fantastic, we aren’t saying that the gifts are a bad thing. Who doesn’t enjoy a big bunch of flowers, some chocolates or a nice candle? We spoke to Mother/Daughter team behind Casita, a beautiful homeware site that champions women creators about what makes Mother’s Day for them:

Rosa Cornejo (Mum):

“This year all I really want for Mother’s Day is to spend time with my daughter and two-year-old granddaughter. We’ll probably get together for a bite to eat at one of our houses and let my granddaughter run riot with her toys – they’re the best kind of days. But if Jaz did want to buy me a gift to go alongside that, I’ve been eyeing up the black iron vase from our latest casita collection, as well as the Vineyard plantable candle, which is possibly one of the nicest I’ve ever smelt – I’m a big fan of fig and the mix of fig and vetiver is just perfection!”

Jazmin Farrell-Cabrera (daughter):

“As a mother to a very active recently turned two-year-old, nearing the end of a house renovation, 21 weeks pregnant and running my own business, all I really want for Mother’s Day is a lie-in! A bacon sandwich and a cuppa in bed wouldn’t go amiss, either. However, if my daughter (husband!) does want to get me a physical gift, too, I’d go for a handmade card and some bits from casita for the newly renovated kitchen. The steel cutlery set is a favourite and the black insulated jug is ideal for tired mums like me! My mum has already picked the bits I knew she’d love – I was planning the Gentle Solitude candle gift set for her, but maybe I’ll go for Vineyard instead!”

Whatever happens this Mother’s Day, it is important to remember that those around you love you and want to cherish you on this day, even if that does mean an audience in the bathroom.

Written by Victoria Cobley.

Victoria is a Freelance journalist and content creator with two children aged 5 and 2.